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A Food Addict’s Dream
By Administrator | November 23, 2006
Thanksgiving. A day when calories don’t count and we’re encouraged to eat constantly from sunup to sundown. When we are able to stuff ourselves to the point where we need to loosen our belts and lie down to have a nap after dinner. The perfect day for a food addict.
My memories of this holiday fall into two categories: the public, family-enjoying-a-meal-together ones, and the more private recollections of time spent in the bathroom desperately wishing I could throw up to relieve some of the pain after having eaten too much. I would never go the bulimic route and force myself to vomit because that’s just too painful and I hate the feeling of being sick. Nor would I go the laxative route. I’ve always forced myself to suffer through the agony of feeling that I’m going to explode as punishment for having no self-control in the eating department.
Thanksgiving. A day of mixed emotions. The time, every year, when I think about how much I’d like to be thinner and healthy. When I promise myself I won’t go overboard with the mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, and pies. A day when I give the most thanks for not filling up to the point where I feel as though I’m going to explode.
This Thanksgiving I’m admitting to myself (and everyone else) that I am a food addict. I eat too much and too often. My meals are unhealthy and irregular and I need to work toward finding a routine that will keep me from obsessing over what I get to eat next and when. I’ve got to learn to ignore the feeling that I’m hungry when I’ve just eaten due to what I think may be a faulty “on/off” switch. Most of all, I’ve got to forgive myself since my issues with food are complex and cannot be laid completely at my door; some of the problem is genetic, some is environmental, and quite a bit is societal.
Thanksgiving will hopefully have new meaning for me from now on. I hope to be able to enjoy the day, and the food, without all the guilt…and without stuffing myself to the point where I feel I’m going to split open. After all, that honor belongs to the turkey!
Topics: Health/Wellness |
